LWFL NFC Power Rankings, Week One

(Note: Among my many interests, I am the commissioner of the LiveWorld Fantasy Football League, comprised of 16 LiveWorld employees, past employees and friends/family of LiveWorlders. The league is split into NFC and AFC conferences. I publish the Power Rankings for the 8 teams in the LWFL NFC. Briant Laslo publishes Power Rankings for the AFC)

LWFL NFC Power Rankings
Week 1 Sep. 12, 2010

#1 Team Eagles
Rebecca Newkirk's defending Super Bowl (and scoring) champions from last year started right where they left off with a league-high 130 point effort on opening day.

Led by monster performances from Arian Foster and Peyton Manning who accounted for 76 points between the two of them, the Eagles dominated in a 64 point win, extending their streak to 4 consecutive games in which they've won by a margin of 50 points or more.

While the Eagles are not likely to get 40 point efforts from the running back position very often (consider that Foster's effort came against the always woeful Colts run defense), they do possess balance thru out their lineup, with 4 players scoring in double figures, despite key players like Michael Turner and DeSean Jackson having poor showings. This is a high-risk, high reward team that can score a ton of points in any given week but still reasonably expect to put up 90-100 points per game on an average week.

The Eagles are still the team to beat until someone does, and they appear to have all the right pieces to be the first to repeat as LWFL Super Bowl champions.

#2 Dreaded Mercenaries
Sarah Snow's Dreaded Mercenaries were the third-highest scoring team this week, but get the second place nod for the overall balance in their lineup.

Even with Drew Brees having a sub-par game, the Mercenaries tied for the league-lead with a total of FIVE players scoring in double-digits, led by a vintage effort from Chad Ocho Cinco with 21 points.

Overall, the Mercenaries were only a couple of plays and bad calls away from having 9 out of the 10 starters in double digits and it's very tough to beat a team that can put up big numbers from ANY position on the team. The Dreaded Mercenaries are the fantasy football equivalent of the 1927 Yankees--they have stars at every position with Drew Brees, Steven Jackson, Roddy White, Calvin Johnson, Rashard Mendenhall and Vernon Davis filling out their lineup. Even their DEF (NY Jets) and K (Ryan Longwell) are among the best at their position. The weakest position on this team is its flex player--who just happened to lead the team in scoring this week. If the Mercenaries make the right choice between playing Knowshon Moreno and Ocho Cinco every week, they stand a good chance of going undefeated.

The Dreaded Mercenaries are not as explosive as Team Eagles, but are more consistent through out the lineup. I expect these two teams to be battling for the points title all season long.

#3 Mr. Al Davis
Like his famous name-sake, team owner Justin Rocha doesn't give a **** about his Power Ranking, as long as he just wins, baby.

Mr. Al Davis is led by the tandem of Tom Brady and Chris Johnson, who are both capable of putting up astronomical numbers every week and went for 56 points on Sunday. Look for those two to consistently put up 50+ point between them on a weekly basis.

After those two, however, Mr. A.D. has a lot of players who *could* put up good numbers in any given week, but their stats and projections suggest they are only going to give a fantasy-worthy performance every other week. My prediction for this team is inconsistency.

Besides Johnson, Mr. Al Davis will rely on two rookies and a 2nd year RB to tote the rock, and two very talented WR's who unfortunately are playing in systems where they should not expect to get a lot of TD's like other elite receivers. Both Brandon Marshall and Marques Colston are immense talents, but New Orleans spreads the ball around pretty equally to all of its receivers, and while Marshall is the focal point of the Dolphins passing attack, he's limited by his QB and the lack of strong complementary wideout. Both receivers should get 1100-1300 receiving yards this season, but only 8-9 TD catches.

This team is like the homeless guy you meet on the streets who could either be a really interesting person to talk with or just batsh*t crazy. Mr. Al Davis will be a tough team to beat in any given week and is easily capable of putting up 120-140 points. But I wouldn't be surprised to see them with a few meek 70-80 point efforts either.

#4 Rescue Rangers
The Rescue Rangers, coached by Al Williams, made their league debut in impressive fashion, scoring a come-from-behind victory on Monday night led by Phillip Rivers 23 points.

The Rangers tied the Mercenaries by having five players scoring 10 or more points, and are also built for consistency, with Maurice Jones-Drew, Reggie Wayne, Miles Austin, Jermichael Finley and Pierre Thomas rounding out their starting lineup. Their most glaring weakness is at the Flex position--they lack a consistent performer in that position. They might guess right in some weeks, but that's the one spot in their roster that will keep this team from being one of the elites.

Just like the NFL, any team can beat any other team in any given week, but the Power Rankings are all about which team is the strongest and would win most of the time. The Rangers will have to play the waiver wire well or coach this position well each week to compete with the teams above them in the rankings.

Still, 96 points in their debut is a good solid start and right around where I think this team will perform on a weekly basis.

The Bottom Half




#5 Heavenly Rampagers
Roy Sniffen's Rampagers must be doing some Hail Mary's to atone for the curses they swore at their team last Sunday. With 84 points in a losing effort, the Heavenly Rampagers needed a little help from above--or from Frank Gore and Ray Rice, who both under-performed in a big way.

Still, 84 points on a bad day isn't too bad and should have the Rampagers seeing some encouragement. Their lineup is strong at the top with a near-elite QB in Tony Romo and 3 near-elite RB's in Rice, Gore and Ronnie Brown. The WR core is solid with Wes Welker, but they are lacking a true #1 WR who can be explosive on a regular basis. Maybe something to pray for?

The bottom of their Rampagers lineup is solid, if unspectacular--this is a team that should regularly put up between 80-100 points per week, and will occasionally score in the 110-120 range.

#6 Team Falk
The Falkland Islands are a small set of islands in the Southern Ocean off the coast of Argentina. It is a cold, windy, desolate and craggy land inhabited by more sheep than humans. Argentina and England fought a war over possession of the archipelago in 1982. No one really knows for sure what it is they were fighting over.

I mention this, because Susan Falk's Team Falk is a bit of an enigma too--no one really knows what to expect from this team. An 84 point effort in their opening game isn't bad, and that's with their star QB Brett Favre under-performing badly, #1 RB Ryan Grant getting hurt early in the game, getting no contribution from #1 WR Andre Johnson and flex player Jonathan Stewart all but disappearing from his teams game plan when he was projected to do well.

On the other hand, Matt Forte is not the kind of player you expect a 30 point effort from either. About the only predictable result from this game was the 14 points from Dallas Clark, who can be expected to provide 10 points or so on a regular basis.

I think that Team Falk is in for a roller-coaster season--it's a team that will probably average around 80-90 points per game, and 3-4 times this year will probably throw down 120 points on someone. But replacing their #1 RB is not going to be an easy task, and there are question marks at QB--Favre looked very average against New Orleans and Jay Cutler will be streaky-- the Flex position is filled by two RB's who are #2 on their own team, and the #2 WR position will be inconsistent on a weekly basis too, unless team coach Susan Falk guesses right each week with which WR to start.

#7 Team Damages
The Damages scored a woeful 66 points in week one and Jenna Woodull was hurt by her prized #1 draft pick, Aaron Rogers.

Rogers tossed 2 TD's, but turned in an otherwise pedestrian 15 points to go with his 2 INT's and under 200 yards passing. This in an aberrant performance from Rogers--he's an elite option at QB who should regularly score more than 22+ points per week and can easily go off for 40.

The rest of the Damages lineup was equally disappointing, with DeAngelo Williams, Shonn Greene, Jason Witten and the 49ers DEF all playing well below expectations. Despite the lack of production from key players, the Damages still had 4 players score in double digits, so clearly, better days are ahead for this team.

Look for the Damages to average in the 80-90's, with a couple of games around 110-120, but don't be too surprised by a couple of stinker games like this one either. The lineup is generally solid, and filled with players who might score and get good yardage in any given week, but except for Larry Fitzgerald, they lack explosive players who can score multiple times in a game with any regularity.

#8 Islamic Socialists
What's in a name? Well, Shakespeare said that a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet. While there's nothing more feared in America than extremist Muslims and socialism, there's no such thing as an Islamic socialist in the real world and apparently not in fantasy football either.

The message is clear--be careful what you name your team.

Commissioner Mark Williams must have been busy with other league duties, because his Socialists either forgot or refused to compete last weekend, getting sub-par performances from EVERY position on the team except #2 RB Jamaal Charles, TE Antonio Gates and the Green Bay DEF. QB Matt Schaub--projected as a top 5 QB by most pundits--,RB Adrian Peterson and Joseph Addai, WR Randy Moss and Dwayne Bowe all failed to score more than 10 points, leading a very disappointing effort. This team was projected to score 139 points in this game and didn't manage to score half that total.

While the Islamic Socialists scored more point than Team Damages, I'm ranking them dead last in the league so the Socialists gets the message. This is a team that *should* be averaging 100 points per game and by the end of the season, I expect this team to compete for both a scoring and Super Bowl championship.

Good luck to all next week! (unless you're playing me)

--da Commish

Movement is LIFE

I'm a kinesthetic actor.

I like to mooooooooooove and feel the energy flow. I'm a better actor when I'm out of my head and in my body, even if I do consider all the head work absolutely necessary to get me to where I can just feel the part.

Tonight's rehearsal was about working on making Joseph real through movement, paying more attention to communicating with my body and energy more than the words. It's been a struggle to explore the physicality of the role so far--we've generally only run thru the play once per night and I sit thru the entire scene, so there hasn't been much time to play.

But I finally had a night off last night and took some time playing at home exploring the movement vocabulary that is available to Joseph while sitting.

A Quick Trip Down Memory Lane...

The exercise brought back fond memories of acting classes with Jack Clay at the UW. Our studio was in Hutchinson Hall, a 75 year-old gymnasium with a wooden basketball floor, sunlight streaming in from windows 14 feet in the air, a playing area ringed with heavy black curtains and topped with a mish-mash of steel pipes suspended from the ceiling to create a light grid. This was my lab, my temple, my sanctuary, my love for many years.

In one of our very earliest classes--we (a class of 12) did an exercise to see how many different ways we could sit on a chair. It was a mad, frenetic dash of joyful creativity--each of us running up to the chair, trying a new way of sitting on it that gave an 'attitude' or expressed something. We'd try 1-2 poses and then hop off, the next person racing to the chair until we finally ran out of ideas and started repeating ourselves.

I don't recall our final tally, but it was in excess of 100. Something like 113, but I wouldn't swear to that, and it doesn't matter. The lesson was to explore the possibilies that exists for expression even in such a confined space as a chair, and not to limit ourselves to convention.

So tonight's rehearsal was for exploring my expressiveness while sitting...

...AND MOVE YOUR BODY! ( DANCE REVOLUTION)

One of the most important things I do in building a character is pick a character movement shape and personality type using Laban dance movement.

In a (very small) nutshell, Laban revolutionized the dance world in the 1920's and 30's with the publication of his theories analyzing the qualities that constitute dance (life) movement and defining 8 types of action movements: Float, Punch, Glide, Slash, Dab, Wring, Flick, and Press.

These descriptions are essentially the ONLY 8 movements that constitute the entire vocabulary describing how living things move. (and Laban also devises a movement notation system for choreographers that is still used today)

That's probably a little too ethereal a description, so go ahead and do some of those gestures while you're sitting at the keyboard right now. Make a "glide" motion with your hand.

Now make a wringing motion.

And finally, make a "flick" motion.

Did you notice how the quality of each movement felt differently? Making a gliding motion might feel light, but the wringing motion feels more labored and heavy.

Or flicking something is a very indirect action, like shooing a fly, but one glides in a direct line. (and if a glide moves in an indirect motion, it's called a float)

Now...take a leap of faith with me and embrace that all those types of movement shapes (Float, Punch, Glide, Slash, Dab, Wring, Flick, and Press) are also types of personalities.

Are You My Type?

Are you short, blunt and to the point? You're a Punch. Can you focus for long periods of time on difficult problems? You might be a Press. What would we call someone who acts like a stereotypical 'dumb blonde'? A Float. A silly little twit might be a Dab. A person who worries all the time--a wring.

And so on, for each of the 8 movement/personality types.

So part of my process is to pick which type of action/personality shape my character might be.

Once I know which personality fits, I automatically get a whole vocabulary of movements to try out. How do I gesture? Quickly? Deliberately? With great purpose or seemingly nonchalantly? direct and to the point, or wildly?

If I know the personality type, I now know the quality of the character's movement. And that's what I was exploring tonight in rehearsal...what type of Laban shape and personality is Joseph?

Try it out for yourself--it's fun!

Do this:

• actually make gestures with your hands and arms in each of the 8 motion shapes.
  
• Float, Punch, Glide, Slash, Dab, Wring, Flick, and Press
• walk around the room as if that gesture fills up your entire body and changes your walk
  
• What would it feel like to have a walk that floated across the room? Walk like that.
• Or flicked across the room? Walk like that.
  
• Or slashed? (make sure there is no furniture in the way)

It's a little abstract I know, but try it...and you'll start to feeeeeeel it. What kind of attitude do you get when you glide? Is it different than when you wring? Or dab?

Each of us is one of these 8 personality types, more or less. I won't say which one I'm choosing for the play, but as for myself personally, I like to think of myself as a glide...

...but I think the truth is that I'm really a press.

Would you agree with that or not? Which personality/movement type best describes YOU?

CONNECT with the words

Good rehearsal tonight--enjoyed a nice lingering afterglow and gathered some momentum from the last 'over-acting' rehearsal.

The direction to go over the top really blew out the cobwebs and has freed me up to be bolder, follow impulses and really clarify my point of view. The director really likes what I'm doing--I'm no judge of myself, in any event. (it's very, very rare when I'm pleased with my work.) Some of what I'm doing feels right, and some of it feels like I'm floundering, but if the director likes it, then I'm happy.

Using my sculpting analogy, I'm lopping off huge chunks of clay right now so the shape is recognizable. I have a week yet to polish and maybe add some fine detail.

The detail, of course, is what makes a thing beautiful and transcendent. I strive for that in my work--I'm sure I miss it more often than not, but it's all I know how to do, is to chase it. It's my motivation for being in the theater--that moment when everything congeals into something beautiful on stage and my body and soul are part of an amazing, transcendent experience. You can feel it on stage and oh yeah... it is an addictive drug.

Transcendence happens...

... when the actors connect to the character's feelings, with the words that they say, with each other and with the audience. When the audience is drawn in to the characters, the cycle is complete...like a tsaheylu connection in Avatar.

When you don't have it, you want it. When you have it, you want it to last longer. As soon as it's over, you want it again. But it's powerful enough to tide you over for quite some time.

Performers of all stripes know this feeling.

And the difference between being beautiful and being transcendent is sooooooo small...so fine that it's barely noticeable, but it makes all the difference in the world. Check out the two vids below of the song Suddenly Seymour from Little Shop of Horrors. (I'll bet you didn't know that more famous 1986 version starring Rick Moranis and Steve Martin was a remake of Roger Corman's film from 1960)

In the first video, pop star Mandy Moore and Broadway vet Adam Pascal sing the song. Pascal gained his fame as one of the leads in Rent, and Mandy Moore has been a touring staple for years. She once turned down the role of Belle in Beauty and the Beast on Broadway, so she is well-thought of as a live performer. They both have serious vocal chops.



So yes..they sing the hell out of the song--there's no doubt that both of them have beautiful voices if you close your eyes and just listen. But...they are both more in love with their voices and themselves in the song than each other.

It's not quite transcendent. They don't connect with each other, and the audience doesn't really connect with them. It's lovely and some people will mistake it for something incredible. It's a very pretty song.

But...

Check out this version sang by Rick Moranis and Ellen Greene. Technically, they don't have anywhere near the voices of Pascal and Moore. They are both what would be called 'character' voices. But they sure can act.



Note the *connection* between the two...even when they move apart, you still get the feeling that they are connected to each other, no? The camera work is better in the film version of course, but can you feel yourself sucked into the story...and notice that you start to feel what each character is feeling?

More importantly...the actors connect simply with the words of the song. They don't go for the pretty sounding note--we feel like they actually mean what they are saying. They just happen to be saying it to a tune.

By the end...we are totally connected as an audience with the characters and the actors and the song. We haven't just heard a pretty love song, we watched....and participated in a transcendent event- the very instant when two people fell in love.

Subconsciously, by bearing witnessing to that moment we actually transport ourselves to the moment (or moments) when WE have fallen in love. If we were in a theater with someone, we might squeeze the hand of the person we're with, or cast a glance their way. It's a poignant moment we want to share.

Imagine that...a whole audience falls in love at the same time--that's pretty transcendent.

It's a good reminder for me, this most basic of all acting lessons: CONNECT with the words. If I'm lucky, something beautiful and transcendent might happen.

Just mean what you say. How hard is that?

Overacting is Fun!

Tonight's rehearsal was all about overacting on purpose. With purpose. And was lots of fun!

The director has been asking for more...More...MORE in the past few rehearsals. In my case, it's been a struggle because I haven't necessarily found what's right yet (I've only had 5 rehearsals), but that doesn't really matter. She doesn't care whether my choices are right--she just wants to see them played bigger.

The rest of the cast has been struggling with that too, in large part because we've been rehearsing in intimate spaces--a living room cleared of furniture, a small dance studio and a church classroom. Our playing area for the actual performance is much larger, so we needed a kick in the pants to get us to play to fill the space.

Do You Know The Way To San Jose?

We moved rehearsal outside tonight, where we had to compete with the sounds of airplanes arriving at the San Jose airport (Marie's house is directly underneath the final approach for landing), dogs barking and children playing next door in order to be heard and make our point.

To help get us out of our heads and into our more impulsive state, for one night only, the director gave us permission to play big, broad stereotypes and to see where that took us.

I loved it, because the deeper I get into this script, the more I want to play it like it's a Dario Fo or Joe Orton play. To me, the play is a wild, absurd farce set in a courtroom, but we're playing it straight as a realistic, serious courtroom drama.

The problem is that play was written in the 1950's and it shows. Picture an early Perry Mason courtroom scene, and you'll have an idea of the style of the play. But we're not setting it in the 1950's. We're trying to set in a contemporary period without defining it as contemporary--sort of an ageless period.

Words, Words, Words

It should go without saying that words are powerful little things. It's almost a cliche by now, but if you open yourself up to words, they can lead you places where you had no idea of going.

In grad school, I was taught to learn how to give myself over to a script. How to let the and the rhythmsounds of the words take me out of my head, and into my body. To let the words define my character and guide my journey, free of any rational or intellectual choice of mine own.

So tonight...when asked to overact and cut loose of any inhibitions or rational thought, a middle-aged Jewish man who loved and admired Jesus emerged.

And boy, was he pissed.

Tonight I wailed...howling my anger at the death sentence, puking my disgust at the proceedings in which I partook, and dove into the shock, sorrow and bewilderment at how everything turned into a clusterf**k so quickly. I felt the tenderness I had for Jesus preparing his body for his burial.

And then pushed that vocally and with energy to the back of the yard, 75 feet away.

Okay. So I lost some of the truths that I had been working on...but found new ones instead. I lost some focus on the crispness of the words and 'pushed' more than I just let it flow, but that's part of the process too.

More importantly, I got back into the habit of putting my energy out to an audience that is a fair distance away. I felt tired at the end of rehearsal, like after a good workout, which is a good sign.

That's how I want to feel after every rehearsal or performance. It was nice to feel that way tonight...like a visit with an old friend.

I'm rounding into shape. Another week to go!

The AHA! Moment

One of the things I love the most about the rehearsal process is the arrival of AHA! moments. We all get them...those bursts of clarity that explode in your head and clear the fogginess of a problem that you were musing on, revealing a golden light pointing out the new direction.

I live for those moments of creativity and clarity.

Sometimes, I feel both good and foolish when I catch myself literally saying "aha!" in that moment of discovery. I feel foolish because it's such a cliche, and who goes around saying "AHA!" any more outside of a melodrama?

But then I feel good, because cliches come from somewhere. The AHA! moment is a timeless connection to artists and great thinkers throughout history. Socrates or Aristotle probably said it first, but I can imagine Da Vinci...Michaelangelo...Shakespeare...Moliere...Mozart saying AHA! just before they put pen in hand and started creating their masterpieces.

My most recent AHA! moment on The Case of Humanity vs. Pontius Pilate came during a phone conversation with my good friend Rachel. Our relationship began when she wandered into one of my acting classes nearly 15 years ago, and since that time, she has taught me far more than I ever taught her.

When in doubt, call a friend.

So I've been working thru some of the blocks I've been running up against in the play, trying to really understand and feel the strength of faith that Joseph must have had to get Jesus' body from the cross, clean his body and prepare him for burial in his own tomb.

There are so many layers of human emotion running thru that act, and I'm trying peel each layer back to feel the deepest possible truth of what motivates Joseph and what his personal perspective was on the series of crucifixion events.

My biggest obstacle and challenge has been to find the love of Jesus that Joseph must have felt. An extraordinary love for....*something*....that made him risk his reputation and welfare by doing something that could cause great harm to him and his family.

Now, Rachel and I talk maybe every couple of years, usually when one of us is doing a play or needs someone to bounce some creative thoughts off of, so it was time for a check-in. I needed some help.

And Now, A Few Words from our Master

I mentioned my difficulty feeling what Joseph must be feeling to Rachel, and once again, her response was an example of the student schooling the teacher.

She reminded me of the teachings of Stanislavsky, and the "magic IF". I laughed as soon as she said those words--those are the same words that I teach in every acting class...in the very first class. I was the first person to introduce Rachel to Stanislavsky...and here she was re-introducing him to me for the first time again.

It's funny how things work like that.

You Can't Always Feel What You Want to Feel

In the theater, I believe that it's always better to actually feel what your character feels. I like it when a character takes over my body--I get to see the world thru a whole new set of eyes and experience things that I wouldn't ordinarily do.

But sometimes...you hit a block. You're not feeling what the character is feeling...what the script says he's feeling. What to do then?

The Magic IF

You break out the "magic IF". The power in the magic IF is that you don't HAVE to feel what the character is feeling. You just have to act AS IF you were feeling what the character is feeling.

As Stanislavsky explains, that little "if", makes all the difference in the world. The actor playing Hamlet has probably never killed 3 people in real life, as Hamlet does in the course of the play. So he can't really feel what Hamlet does with each death, yet he must act AS IF he has killed these people.

The "if" allows the actor to go to those hidden places in their soul--we are all human, and therefore we come hard-wired with the same set of emotions. Which means as humans, we can ALL kill. Feel lust. Feel rage, jealousy, hatred, intense sorrow or joy, etc.

And as Rachel pointed out...that "if" makes it safe for us to live in those hidden places inside ourselves in the theater...it's not really 'me' doing those things the character is...I'm just doing or saying those things as if I were that other person.

The beauty of a play is that the lines stay the same every night and the story always ends the same way. The actor keeps his (or her) identity...their own sense of self strong, precisely because they know that they can give over to the 'if' and by 10:30, its over. That other person leaves and you return to yourself again.

It's an out of body experience...a trip, if you will. Except you know how it will go every night, so you can just ease into it and let it flow.

The AHA! moment is...

All a long-winded way of saying...I don't have to love Jesus. I have to behave AS IF I love Jesus. Now I have a starting point and lots of thoughts, feelings, and choices suddenly spring to mind.

(and yes, I did say "AHA!" when that light bulb went off)

Don't you just LOVE that feeling of clarity? Do you have a story to share about your last AHA! moment?

Begin...At The Beginning

As it turns out, I'm stepping into The Case of Humanity vs. Pontius Pilate as a replacement for an actor who was unable to continue in the project for work-related reasons.

I mention this because it adds a special twist to the role--not only do I have a compressed time period to do the role (3 weeks, which is plenty of time for the size of the role), but I have an additional dynamic of blending with a cast and director already quite used to working with each other by this time of the process.

Process? Which Process?

The thing is, every actor has their own process for developing a role. Rehearsals are kind of like the elementary school playground at lunchtime--it's where everyone in the cast learns how to play with each other. So by coming into rehearsals 4 weeks into a 7 week process--well, I'm like the new kid in school. I've got to figure out the social and creative dynamics real quickly, yet still adhere to my own artistic process.

By the time a cast is four weeks into rehearsal, a common artistic language has been established between the director and cast. Each actor knows how the others work and has adjusted so each gets what they need.

For example, some actors can't 'act' until they know their lines. Others are highly analytical and want to know every last detail about their character and events of the play. Some actors respond best thru movement or improvisation and use rehearsal to constantly try a variety of new things, while others might strive to speak every line and perform every movement with exact, consistent precision day-after-day.

Rehearsals are a place to figure all that out, and being the new kid in the cast means that THEY have to start the process all over again with ME. Which makes me feel a little awkward, self-concious, and just a little unsure of how to fit in.

In the Beginning...

I was reminded of the importance of process tonight by the director Marie, who was a cast mate of mine when we played in Squabbles together a little more than a year ago. We spent quite a bit of time talking art/theater/life during the run of that show, and we have a mutual respect for each others acting talents. I trust her as a director.

I've now had three rehearsals with the cast, and Marie has shown some surprise at the direction I've taken the character in. At our first rehearsal, she was treating me like all the other actors in the cast, giving me notes that were more appropriate for an actor 4 weeks into rehearsal than one who was just in days 1-5 of even having a script.

She was pushing me in a direction that I wasn't quite ready to go yet.

In the first week of rehearsal, a director might ask "what do you think the character is feeling here? Or "What's going on for him in this scene?"

In the fourth week of rehearsal, you might get the note like "I need a bigger emotional response from you here-- can you turn it up a notch?" And that's a problem when I'm not sure of which emotional response is right for the moment based on how the character is feeling and what I am actually getting from my scene partner.

Emotions need to be justified. Sometimes you take a leap of faith and dive into an emotional response and sometimes they need to build slowly.

For my own personal process--I start slowly. And that's a risk to take when joining a new cast...you want to impress everyone and prove to them why you were chosen for the part--but that's a path that leads to insincere acting.

The Actor As Rodin

The metaphor that I use for developing a character is that I am a sculptor. I must first envision who the character is and get a picture in my mind, and then the rehearsal process is like sculpting...I am the block of clay and I must remove things that don't belong until I am left with what is left--the bare, essential truth of the character.

Like a piece of sculpture, the character *emerges* from the clay--I might start with a vision, but the finished piece creates itself in the process. In fact, one of my great mentors described the art of the theater as "the process of coming into creativity." His conviction was that actors do not create a character--they open themselves up in such a way as the character comes into them.

It's a mysterious (and wonderful) process...that CAN be attained through rigorous and focused practice. But it takes time. A cake that is supposed to bake for 20 minutes will not taste as good if it is only baked for 15.

The Truth Shall Set You Free

For me...the first step I take when I get a role is to ask questions...what is the truth of this character? Why are they in the play? What drives the character to do what they do and...what are they trying to hide?"

That last question is often the most telling for me--if I know the characters darkest secrets that they don't want anyone to know, then I know what motivates them to do whatever it is that they do in the play.

I perceive my job as an actor is to bring Truth to light. To create a memorable character out of words on a paper who is a vital cog to the story being told. To bring life to a fictitious character and make him so real that an audience believes they know him beyond the script--that they can tell me things about the character that are never revealed in the script.

I look for the truth of the character and try to bring that out in myself.

I cannot even begin to 'act' until I know these truths. I can learn my lines, learn blocking, improvise and do all kinds of other groundwork during the early rehearsals, but I don't grasp the Truth so quickly.

So for me, the early rehearsals are usually pretty ugly. I'll make some choices on what the character wants, play them, and then see how they felt....truthful or not.

Next time thru, I'll make completely different choices, even if my first choice felt good, because I want to make sure I'm not missing something *better*. All choices in rehearsals are good--but some are better, and more interesting than others.

So tonight, I got a nice compliment from Marie (whose job as director is, after all, to compliment the actors into giving good performances). It wasn't just that it was nice--it was the look in her eye, the deep breath she took before saying it and the smile that came with it.

"Mark," she said, "I have to learn to trust you more. Some of the choices you make are not what I would make, and sometimes they are 180 degrees from what I was thinking. But they're always interesting choices. And I can see that you go a lot deeper into the character than just what's in the script and I believe what you're saying. Keep doing whatever it is that you're doing."

As compliments go, that ranks up there for me. I'm nowhere's near 'there' yet, but as an actor, the only thing I try to be is interesting, truthful and believable. I don't want to rush that process.

So I'm on the path for 2 out of 3, so far. Show date is August 7th. We'll see how far I get.

I GOT THE PART!!!

Those are probably the most cherished words any actor will ever speak.

Getting a role is pure bliss for the ego--a validation of all the work, training, courage and passion that everyone who dares to get on a stage possesses . It's the best part of being an actor, getting a job. It's probably a more joyful occasion than actually performing.

You Like Me. You REALLY Like Me! (you DO, don't you?)

Once the euphoria wears off though (and it's ALWAYS a short-lived joy), it's replaced by a nervousness and nagging fear. Sure, you think, I did a good job in the audition. But what if I can't really play the role? Now I have to perform. They must have seen 20 other actors for this role--why did they pick ME? It's kind of like a battered wife syndrome--you've been rejected so many times that you start thinking that maybe I'm not really that good, and even when someone DOES like you, you sort of think, well, maybe they couldn't find anyone better or "what's wrong with this person that likes me?"

Yeah, actors are a little crazy and insecure. Like I said, spend your time in constant cycles of yearning and rejection sometime and see what it does to YOU. Most people are smart enough to ever subject themselves to that type of abuse.

As the day of the first rehearsal draws near, the nervousness magnifies, but excitement and eagerness creep in too. You're going to get to PLAY! You're getting to do the thing you LOVE to do more than anything else in the world. And make no doubt about it, if you're an actor, there is no place you'd rather be than on a stage, and no lover will ever capture your heart like performing will.

And the day you stop feeling that way is the day that you stop acting.

You may eventually find something resembling balance in your life, but acting will still dominate. Actors often miss weddings, funerals, birthday parties, anniversaries and other special occasions because of rehearsals or performances. You've heard the phrase "the show must go on", and the show doesn't care that it's your wedding anniversary, your mom is sick in the hospital or that your brother is graduating from high school--there is an audience that needs to be satisfied and people have paid money to see you perform.

Very few jobs require the total dedication that the theater does--she is a very demanding, cruel mistress.

Ring, Ring...

In recent years, I've taken leave of this mistress in exchange for a little bit of stability and the pleasure that comes with regular paychecks. And I work with people who appreciate me and they don't make me interview for my job every day. (of course, they work me like the rented mule that I am, but that's okay--at least I'm working!) I'm not the kind of person to look back, but every now and then, that cruel mistress tugs at my heartstrings.

She's the crazy girlfriend who is so totally bad for you, but being with her is the most incredibly amazing INTENSE time that you keep seeing her even though you KNOW she is going wreak havoc in your life.

So imagine my surprise when one week ago, I get a call out of the blue from my director friend Marie who says "how'd you like to play a role for me?"

I'm Just A Boy Who Can't Say No

Being a typical actor, the first word out of my mouth was "sure". I didn't even think about it...it slipped out before I had a chance to take it back. It's a habitual response, and you'll know your around people who have acted before if whenever you ask them something the answer is ALWAYS "yes".

"Hey, have you ever ridden a horse before?" Yes. "Can you stand on your head?" Yes. "Can you play castanets and dance flamenco?" Yes. "Can we set you on fire?" Yes.

(by the way, I have actually been asked all of those questions before in the casting process. And eventually did all of them in performance, even though a more accurate answer at the time would have been "no")

Actors are superhuman--we think we can do anything any human can do, and if we haven't done it before, then we're sure that we can learn it quickly enough to look like we've been doing it for years by opening night. You never know what is going to get you a role...or keep you from getting a role, so you just say "yes" to everything.

So when Marie asked me to play a role for her, I said "yes" before even thinking to ask the more logical question--what's the role?

Even a Cruel Mistress Has a Sense of Humor

Which is how I now find myself playing Joseph of Aramethia in play titled "The Case of Humanity vs. Pontius Pilate".

That would be SAINT Joseph of Arimithea. The man who gets Jesus from the cross and buries him in his finest linens in a burial plot meant for himself. The Joseph who eventually builds the first Christian church in England and brings the Holy Grail along with him.

One has to appreciate the irony and the implied humor (the joke is on me)--we've got an avowed athiest playing a venerated Catholic saint...a man of supreme faith. But hey, I got the part!!

This is gonna be interesting, to say the least. I'll pour myself into the role and it poses some challenges to me, which is something I like in a role. I like to be stretched--I like to learn about myself and discover new feelings, emotions, thoughts. I often use the theater to become more enlightened.

I don't know how I will fare in the role, and it's too early to worry about that. All I can do is go about my process for developing role and seek the truth of the character. Maybe I'll find it...and maybe I won't.

All I'm certain of is that come performance time, either me or the audience is going to be surprised by what happens. But for now...all that matters is...I GOT THE PART!

Next up: What do I do now? (first rehearsals)